set them free

So, over the past week I had some eye-opening experiences. I found myself in a couple of different social settings with my children and other children, social settings other than what we are used to I suppose.

For instance, at one of them, our boys and a few of the other kids decided to toss a ball around. No big deal. Or so I thought. All of sudden several of the adults were yelling, literally screaming and yelling practically all at once, "OK NOW THROW IT TO HIM!" "OK NOW YOU GO DOWN THERE AND THROW IT BACK!!" "DON'T DROP IT!" "NOW ITS HER TURN, THROW IT TO HER!" "BE CAREFUL, DON'T GET HIT BY THE BALL!!"

I know I can be a little noise sensitive when it comes to people's voices. I mean, I like a sensory overload as much as the next girl who used to enjoy really loud live concerts/festivals/crazy events before having kids and not having the time or inclination to do that anymore...but a bunch of loud voices yelling all at once in an otherwise conversational setting can make me feel like running for the hills. But this was troublesome in more ways than just decibal level. I was in a full-body cringe almost immediately.

Imagine how the kids felt.
The thing is, at first they were trying to do what they were told even though their spontaneous play had been so abruptly co-opted by the grownups. They were pausing, watching the yelling adults, trying to do as directed, and then guess what? You know the answer. You've probably lived it yourself as a child hundreds of times. They stopped playing. They all detached from their play and wandered off looking a little crestfallen and confused. And it kept happening over and over with each type of play they engaged in.

Blocks, action figures, art supplies. "NO! PUT THE GLITTER ON LIKE THIS!!" "THAT TOY HAS ARMS THAT MOVE! MOVE HIS ARMS! MOVE HIS ARMS!"

I have that Malvina Reynolds song and video on this blog primarily because of the lines -

"I have lived since early childhood
figuring out what's going on,
I know what hurts, I know what's easy,
when to stand and when to run...."

"So please stop shouting in my ear,
there's something I want to listen to,
there's a kind of birdsong up somewhere,
there's feet walking the way I mean to go..."

And there's no hole in their heads. And fer chrissakes please stop shouting directions at them and just let them be. They know what they're doing. Children don't have thought bubbles above their heads to tell us, to prove to us, that something "worthy" is going on in there. Just assume it is.

economy shmeconomy

Something about birthdays makes me feel old. Well, my birthdays do. But the boys and Grandma made delicious cupcakes and Brian came home with ice cream and we had a nice little celebration.

And soon it will be Thanksgiving and then Christmas and the media is all abuzz about austerity and frugality and how people won't be shopping this year, and I admit to being a little (a lot) relieved that the hysteria over expensive purchases and big screen TV's is over, for whatever reason.

I'm just glad my brother and his wife will be here at the end of the month, and that we'll go to the coast in early December to visit Brian's family and meet new baby Avery. And I'm looking forward to the holiday happenings like going to The Grotto and ZooLights and Peacock Lane and visiting with friends and all of the little things that are really the big things, the only things. That is Christmas for us and always has been.

(insert booty-shaking happy dance here)

Gobama, Gobama.... (she does the electric slide across the room)...

Yep, my guy won. My fellow Americans turned out and made history and I am proud. For the first time since when?? Proud that our side wasn't all wishy-washy and and flaky like usual, proud that there was enough organization and intelligence behind this campaign to make it happen.

(Of course there is also the factor that, like The Onion headline today, Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress. )

And that speech made us cry. And I loved seeing his lovely wife and young daughters up there. The boys were glued to the screen and I just hope they remember that moment. I know Duncan will, he is already six and besides, he remembers everything. Archie might, he knows it was a big deal.

The requisite halloween pic

Sirs Gawain and Lancelot. And my handsome husband:

I was going to make knight costumes but saw that the ones they really wanted were on sale so I ordered online. I'm glad I did.

Duncan chose to go sans helmet and i carried his sword most of the night so he could better manage his candy bag. I couldn't help but think Archie seemed very Monty Python in his outfit. All we needed was Patsy and some coconuts.

We had a great time at Rhonda's party and then neighborhood trick or treating! Arch was having a hard time keeping up but seems to have had lots of fun anyway. Today, surprisingly enough, no one has even so much as mentioned candy or the wanting thereof. So far so good!

llama llama red pajama....

If you have to wonder who I voted for you need to get to know me better!

the lego mad robot house! (erratical homeschooling)

I peruse homeschool/craft/natural family blogs for inspiration. The photos are always stunning, the ideas are wonderfully creative, and the effect is primarily one of inspiration and motivation. A side effect is also me feeling like I'm from another planet.

Our family is not nearly as precise, as driven by intention, as skilled and deliberate as the lives these blogs present. But they are a representation. No one takes pictures of the dirty bathtub so its easy to assume no one has a dirty bathtub. I have no doubt we are less organized than a lot of people (most?) but it would be easy to exaggerate that difference if I wanted to. So I don't focus on it. I don't like to stew. Hell, I don't even like to cook!

We do really fun things but they are usually spur of the moment, we all need a certain amount of downtime to just chill and dink around, and we're often totally comfortable with "good enough." As in, "this meal is healthy enough" or "this house looks clean enough" or "this craft is already done enough." And we move on. So on our planet we can't post the kind of lovely photos of that I see on the other blogs - most of our pictures are blurry because no one stops moving. Unless we are reading, in which case we aren't taking pictures because we are busy reading.

I have a friend who goes to AA and says, among other things, "don't compare your insides to other people's outsides," or something to that effect. It is a good thing to remind myself.

I love that everyone's family has their own tempo, that each person adds their own unique sound or silence and that together it makes sense. Our family, I think we're like jazz. Sometimes swing, sometimes syncopation. (I quote - Beyond the literal definition, syncopation can refer to the general tendency to create surprise, and swing to the tendency to create a sense of forward motion. Without a sense of the expected, there could be nothing unexpected.)

And although I don't listen to jazz much lately I sure enjoy the rhythm of my family. And I just feel like we understand each other and that peaceful feeling is an undercurrent of our lives - even when things look noisy and wild on the outside. For instance, I just overheard this conversation (while boys filled ziploc bags with water):

Duncan - "We just go outside and throw them at each other!"
Archie - "Ok! Then I'll make two!"

And that sounds like music to me.

Random pics from the past

A trip down memory lane....

D in early 2003 -

D in March 2004 -

D decorated his baby brother! Nov 2005 -

Archie in March, 2006 -

Through D's eyes

These are pictures D took at the park today-

(And I especially love his Still Life with Picnic shot...)

I got the camera back just in time to get a quick shot of the treeboys -

Pumpkin Patch day

Today we went to the pumkpin patch/harvest festival at Fir Point Farms in Aurora. It turned out to be GORGEOUS weather and we didn't need the extra sweaters, coats, and hats I'd thrown in the car.

Here the boys run through the hay maze-

And Duncan shot a corn cannon (it was loud!)-

And we went for a nice walk in the woods along the Farm Trail-

It was just a REALLY great day...